As a child, I never had the courage to talk in front of my father. I was afraid of him. The moment he came back from work was the moment I used to sit quietly, open my book and start studying. My father was the only authority at home. Today, when my daughter says to her father, “Baba, you don’t understand anything,” I get amazed. ‘How can she talk like this?’ I always wonder. Parenting patterns have changed a lot.
There’s always a question, ‘Which parenting style is more effective, the one my father used to follow or the one my daughter’s father follows?’
When I think about my growing up pattern, I realize that I have achieved many things. I was always on track. Yes, My confidence was low. I was unable to take decisions, but I was never rude. I can mold myself in any situation. I don’t try to control the situation either. I always think, that my father should have given me nothing but confidence.
When we became parents, my husband and I decided to give our daughter everything she wants. We gave her authority to follow her own choices. She wants to control the situation rather than adjusting herself according to it and sometimes becomes rude. Her rudeness and her demanding nature sometimes hurt my ego. The question arises in my mind, Have I chosen the right way?
Being a controlled parent and being over permissive are two ends. If we chose to be at one end, we invite difficulties. We need to catch the middle point. Catching this middle point means being an authoritative parent.
How to become an Authoritative parent?
An authoritative parent is a right combination of firmness and kindness. To be authoritative parent you must understand where you have to stay firm and where you can be little flexible. Hypothetically, this task seems easy, practically it’s very difficult. To stay firm on some values, you must understand why are you following those values. You should understand yourself first. You should follow the values you want your child to follow. Remember, our behavior is going to be an important part of our child’s personality.
You have to be assertive rather than demanding.
Secondly, you should also think about child’s emotions while being strict. If the child is not following rules due to some valid reasons, you must try to understand and be flexible.
Understanding yourself and understanding your child can help you to catch the middle point of parenting. So that. you can raise a nice human being. 
